Justice & Fuzzy Animals

Apr 11

Teaching Consent to Small Children →

bebinn:

mysalivaismygifttotheworld:

afrafemme:

A friend and I were out with our kids when another family’s two-year-old came up. She began hugging my friend’s 18-month-old, following her around and smiling at her. My friend’s little girl looked like she wasn’t so sure she liked this, and at that moment the other little girl’s mom came up and got down on her little girl’s level to talk to her.

“Honey, can you listen to me for a moment? I’m glad you’ve found a new friend, but you need to make sure to look at her face to see if she likes it when you hug her. And if she doesn’t like it, you need to give her space. Okay?”

Two years old, and already her mother was teaching her about consent.

My daughter Sally likes to color on herself with markers. I tell her it’s her body, so it’s her choice. Sometimes she writes her name, sometimes she draws flowers or patterns. The other day I heard her talking to her brother, a marker in her hand.

“Bobby, do you mind if I color on your leg?”

Bobby smiled and moved himself closer to his sister. She began drawing a pattern on his leg with a marker while he watched, fascinated. Later, she began coloring on the sole of his foot. After each stoke, he pulled his foot back, laughing. I looked over to see what was causing the commotion, and Sally turned to me.

“He doesn’t mind if I do this,” she explained, “he is only moving his foot because it tickles. He thinks its funny.” And she was right. Already Bobby had extended his foot to her again, smiling as he did so.

What I find really fascinating about these two anecdotes is that they both deal with the consent of children not yet old enough to communicate verbally. In both stories, the older child must read the consent of the younger child through nonverbal cues. And even then, consent is not this ambiguous thing that is difficult to understand.

Teaching consent is ongoing, but it starts when children are very young. It involves both teaching children to pay attention to and respect others’ consent (or lack thereof) and teaching children that they should expect their own bodies and their own space to be respected—even by their parents and other relatives.

And if children of two or four can be expected to read the nonverbal cues and expressions of children not yet old enough to talk in order to assess whether there is consent, what excuse do full grown adults have?

I try to do this every day I go to nursery and gosh it makes me so happy to see it done elsewhere.

Yes, consent is nonsexual, too!

Not only that, but one of the reasons many child victims of sexual abuse don’t reach out is that they don’t have the understanding or words for what is happening to them, and why it isn’t okay. Teaching kids about consent helps them build better relationships and gives them the tools to seek help if they or a friend need our protection.

Apr 07

quote

Reminder: social constructs are real things. Sex, patriarchy, feminism, gender, libertarianism, and money are all social constructs.

That doesn’t make them bad, either. Liberty, human rights, freedom are all social constructs as well.

When people say a social construct isn’t real, they are lying to you.

— AED (via tonidorsay)
Apr 05

fizzyginger:

thewordsmithy:

Les Mis AU in which Javert is a librarian, Jean Valjean’s “crime” is failing to turn in a book on time, and his library card’s number is 24601.

Those who falter and those who fall
Must pay the price
Which is 30 cents, seriously, I’m not sure why he’s running.

Apr 05

quote

The opposite of depression is not happiness, but vitality, and it was vitality that seemed to seep away from me in that moment. Everything there was to do seemed like too much work. I would come home and I would see the red light flashing on my answering machine, and instead of being thrilled to hear from my friends, I would think, “What a lot of people that is to have to call back.” Or I would decide I should have lunch, and then I would think, but I’d have to get the food out and put it on a plate and cut it up and chew it and swallow it, and it felt to me like the Stations of the Cross.

And one of the things that often gets lost in discussions of depression is that you know it’s ridiculous. You know it’s ridiculous while you’re experiencing it. You know that most people manage to listen to their messages and eat lunch and organize themselves to take a shower and go out the front door and that it’s not a big deal, and yet you are nonetheless in its grip and you are unable to figure out any way around it.

Apr 02
Apr 02
Mar 31

moonflowerlights:

ninthtravelingman:

nealdk:

whatarefishfingers:

ruffnutthorstonthebesttwin:

theprettiestman:

Notice how Shan Yu doesn’t even question it or make a comment about “BUT YOU’RE A GIRL” he just instantly goes into a “I’LL TEACH YOU TO KILL MY MEN AND STEAL MY VICTORY” rage and I think about this a lot sometimes

((Well that might have to do with the fact that he’s a Hun.  Women among the Huns had higher status than their Chinese counterparts and even some of their own men. Women were free to hunt and fight along side of the men, could choose their own husbands and divorce him if she choose to. There were even records of clans being led by women leaders. So for Shan Yu Mulan is just another soldier))

thank you, history side of tumblr.

He also might not have been able to see very well, due to whatever horrible disease has taken hold in his eyeballs.

Pretty serious Wilson’s Disease judging by the copper buildup in in irises, and apparent melanocytosis localized to his sclera.

Thank you medical side of tumblr

Mar 30

Can I contribute to the furniture fandoms?

tiptopdingbat:

I present to you, THE BOOKSHELF FANDOM

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LOOK AT THE BEAUTY

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I CANT HANDLE IT

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THIS ONE IS ALSO A MOTHERFRICKING BED 

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SO COZY

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YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT

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IT DOESNT GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS

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I STAND CORRECTED

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YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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SO FESTIVE

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GOLLY GOSH A PIANO

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STAIRS

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DEAR LORD ALMIGHTY 

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I HOPE YOU WERE AMAZED

Mar 30

ascandalinreichenbach:

dark-inertia:

waiting4codot:

realifeshit:

wow THIS THO

Someday, I hope to actually laugh at these comics.

but seriously fuck people who think our generation had everything handed to us. we may not be first generation college students, but we’re paying double/triple what you paid for an education of more questionable quality. i’m not saying we don’t have it better, but we’re not as lazy as you think.

plus, a college education doesn’t mean what it used to. I know people who have degrees who are still working in retail because there are too many people who are qualified for the job they want.

Mar 30

ferenginar:

yungmethuselah:

If you think all Black people’s blogs are “social justice” blogs, you’re racist.

I read some newspaper article recently that pretty much summed up Tumblr and the responses to it this way—privileged people who come here are shocked to see marginalized people talking about their experiences, so they think everyone’s just obsessed with social justice, rather than talking about their own lives.